Hey Highway Hogging Dickheads- Speed up, or get fuck out of the way
First, I’m going to start this brief driving tirade by saying that I was lucky yesterday on the way home from our Ozark trip. A sheriff’s patrol decided to pull over the black dudes driving the nice Chrysler 300 than the dude in the plain Ford pick-up truck wearing the baseball cap.
Don’t think that he saw that I was a Negro clearly as our windows are slightly tinted, whereas the folks in the other car who had been following me you could easily tell they were black particularly the big black dude in the passenger seat.
Mrs. Snoop spotted the patrol on an overpass and as we passed under you could see the dude start up his lights and take off.
By the time he caught up with me I had slowed down from my 85 mph or so clip to about 65. At first he looked confused weaving between the two lanes of traffic, I was ready to pull over, I was clearly busted.
By the time he caught up with me the Chrysler had passed me by more than a quarter mile oblivious of the pursuing patrol car.
Mrs. Snoop credits the almighty with us avoiding a speeding ticket; well y’all know me I think the racist cop deciding to bust the higher profile bling vehicle versus the run of the mill pick-up truck driven by everybody around here.
If we’d been driving my BMW, I have a nice older model 740 that I routinely “cruise” at 100 mph in; we would have been busted fo’ sho.’
Which brings me to my oft used personal rant of highway driving; I’m not sure if the high gas prices have anything to do with it, but people are clogging up the highways driving slower than usual. I don’t have a problem with folks wanting to take it easy and avoid the flashing lights in the rearview mirror or to be “safer” or even to conserve fuel by driving more 
efficiently but if you choose to take the slower path from point A to B then get the fuck out of the way and stay out of the goddamm FAST LANE.
After all this is fucken America, are folks not entitled to get to our destination faster by shortening drive time? I don’t speed just for the sake of speeding; I don’t like driving and want to get from point A to point B as fast as possible.
Seriously are you people trying piss off folks by adhering to the exact speed limit frustrating drivers and igniting potential road rage because you feel you have some bullshit sense of obligation to abide by the law?
Some of these people stay planted in the fast lane as some sort of symbolic protest that I have never quite understood.
So you are highlighting the fact that you are a controlling idiot fuck at home and hence entitled to force the rest of us to adhere to your warped sense of obligation. Give me a fucken break.
I just decided to say the hell with it. I should start a website devoted to these jackasses who clog our highways with their rebellious speed limit insanity and start taking pictures of these fucks until the word get around that your sense of conformity does not necessarily translate to the rest of us.
Maybe someone is doing this already who knows, I’ll Google it later but usually someone’s highway retardation translates to the rest of their lives.
If you can possible be that oblivious that you would have multiple vehicles lined up behind you and as they pass you on the right wonder why you get a multitude of nasty glances, then just how oblivious are you in real life.
I’m not advocating that folks speed and risk their safety or their passengers, but get a fucken clue people; the fucken highway does not belong to you.
I guess by simply moving aside I guess you feel that you are conceding something.
Let me do some cheep psychoanalysis. You are likely the type of folks who talk too damm much and don’t know when to shut the fuck up and is oblivious to the fact that people don’t find you amusing, entertaining or remotely funny.
You are likely an overbearing husband or irritating wife who seeks to gain control of others around them.
You are likely an asshole boss who nit picks employees under them.
Or you likely are some tired old disgruntled fart who still thinks the world revolved around them and by controlling the road feels some sense of temporary power and sense of justice.
In an ever growing narcissistic and selfish society who cares if others are inconvenienced by your rude controlling obnoxious behavior, the fact that you may block a sidewalk, be the only smoker stinking up the air of those around you or that fact that some folks just might be uncomfortable around your selfish and irritating behavior either oblivious of other discomfort around you or maybe you just don’t give a shit.
“Snoop what the fuck does all of that have to do with driving in the fast lane?”
Everything and nothing I guess.
Since recently I have been to the overcrowded cesspool of human behavior, New York to the peace and quiet of the woods and places in between I’m just more in tuned with human idiosyncrasies and maybe because of my crankiness getting more irritated by them as well.
For some strange reason fast lane hoggers always remind me of this.
There could be one benefit of high gas prices some of these people may stay the fuck off the roads.
Taking a deep breath…..ah a good blog rant is always good for the soul. LOL!
Happy Driving!
Your Pal Snoop!
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July 21st, 2008 at 6:07 pm
You know I love you to death do us part Boo, but has it ever occurred to you that the people who want to use the passing lane to maintain their current illegal rate of speed may just be as controlling, if not more controlling, then the folks who are going the speed limit in the “fast” (passing)lane? Just an idea. Seems to me that a control freak is anyone who gets seriously pissed off when he or she cannot control other people (or things).
July 21st, 2008 at 7:35 pm
“illegal rate of speed may just be as controlling”
Lookie here a husband and wife squabble on a blog.
Let me get this straight:
On a busy sidewalk a couple of fat asses block the sidewalk as they engage in a conversation oblivious that other people just maybe would like to get around them.
A person who smokes their nasty ass cigarette in a place that does not allow smoking in a room full of people who just might like to enjoy their meal and the environment free of human exhaust.
On a airplane when the pilot says “hey asshole the plane can’t takeoff until everyone is in their seats oblivious of this fact some putz piddles around still searching for a place to place his overstuffed bag because they were too fucken cheap to check the bag in or too fucken stupid to pack less shit.
A jackass hell bent on sharing his taste of music with the rest of society goes down what would normally be a quiet street blaring his music with hard bass lines I guess to display his manhood.
How about loud music playing neighbors, neighbors with barking dogs oblivious to the fact that not everyone thinks Fido is cute even as he barks in the middle of the night.
Some parent too stupid or too inept to control their belligerent child disturbs the rest of the patrons in a restaurant, or a movie theatre, or some other establishment not usually suited for children.
Some asshole walking their dog watching the animal shit on someone property refusing to clean it up, who cares its only fertilizer.
Some dickhead with a lawn full of dandelions and foot high grass, who cares about property values and being good and respectful neighbors anyway.
Hell why not celebrate cars on blocks, or cars streaming out oil onto the driveways and the street.
This post is not simply about wanting to drive fast, it about people so oblivious of their surroundings and so self centered that they have no clue that their actions affect folks around them more times than not in a negative way.
I’m hardly perfect, I have my quirks, but I have always been conscious of my surroundings and respectful of others individual space.
I try not to block other individuals’ paths, or view when possible, if someone wants to pass me feel free. Forget the fast driving crap, are people becoming so selfish and self centered that inconveniencing others or disturbing others become part of an individuals routine?
Mrs. Snoop and I are discussing this as I type this out.
Yes we chat about lots of stuff, just feel like sharing. LOL!
July 22nd, 2008 at 6:23 pm
I’m on board with so much of what you say in this post, but I can’t get to any of it because of the BS in the beginning.
If you are speeding and think the cop is pulling you over because he’s racist, it isn’t the cop. Period.
I’ll share my wisdom and genius on the rest at some later date. This was disappointing.
July 22nd, 2008 at 6:55 pm
Mel dude you take me way too seriously here.
Mrs. Snoop and I were speculating as to why the cop went for the other car instead of me when I was clearly busted and I went by the cop first.
The only difference was that I slowed wayyyyy down after I finally saw the cop.
The other car like I said had passed me by more than a quarter mile; the other car was really nice and clean and was full of black people.
Now I only mention this because actually Mrs. Snoop (remember she is white) said it first. That never crossed my mind.
The racist cop thing is only tongue in cheek, I have never had a bad experience with any law enforcement while driving, in fact after a Super Bowl party many years ago a cop pulled me over because I was speeding (chasing some dude who cut me off and flipped me off) Long story short, was a mile from home, he told me to go home and call him when I got home which I did.
But the fact remains; I was clearly busted so why did the cop pull over the other car?
Older decent looking plain truck 1998 F150, vs 2006-2007 Chrysler bling vehicle.
I was being slightly provocative to see if folks would chime in.
July 23rd, 2008 at 2:59 pm
I’d have to pull over the Chrysler, just on general principle.
- MuscleDaddy
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:01 pm
White people can be racist, too. White guilt, PC, plain old prejudice. They can marry a black man and be racially paranoid, which is a form that is and foments racism.
But I get the tongue in cheek. Fair enough.
Why did the cop pull over the other car? Less hassle for more ticket. Also, if he could see the passenger, who is the more likely to have drugs in their possession, or be illegally drinking? Kids who would speed by and ignore a cop.
Also, you cannot possibly be more right about people in the fast lane. They are controlling or selfish, and I wish it were legal to knock them off the road. THey also cause more accidents than any other driver, yet receive the most blame. Who gets the blame for “reckless driving,” often defined as too often changing lanes? The driver trying to get somewhere, with selfish jackasses in the left lanes and in the way. They deserve the ticket for impeding traffic flow. They deserve to be sued for the hours they take out of every other driver’s day. It’s a plain and simple rule of polite society. Stay to the right.
With all due respect to your wife, no, people who want slow drivers out of the fast lane are not controlling. If I’m going 90 and the guy behind me wants to do 100, I get the hell out of the way. Because that’s how it works. We live in a society now that is all about “me.” That attitude serves no one any good. For everyone’s sake, for common courtesy, for the person behind you who may be trying to get to a dying relative for all we know, stay to the right unless passing. A positive society is a polite society.