Why you should never, never, never EVER give money to bums!
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This lovely incident reminded me of an old story from the Kansas City Pitch: A Holiday Catalog of Bumming. Check it out.
Sphere: Related ContentBob Mauer has claim to prime panhandling real estate. He hustles on a small patch of grass near the Broadway offramp of Interstate 35. He carries a crumpled cardboard sign that reads “HELP HOMELESS VET. Thank you!” He wears a U.S. Army logo shirt and fatigue pants to make that image bankable. Mauer works the corner in shifts with two other vagabonds. At night, they share profits to buy smokes and booze. They sleep beneath a nearby overpass, huddled together for warmth.
So when an intruder comes along, Mauer has to protect his turf. This happens regularly, as it did during a recent afternoon at rush hour. Mauer, 50, didn’t even notice the guy at first. The vagrant, in his mid-40s, wore a camouflage jacket and jeans, obviously working the war-hero angle, too. Mauer finally noticed the guy because drivers who stopped at a nearby signal — the ones who usually look away and make sure their doors are locked — were peering past Mauer intently.
He spun to face the new guy.
“How long you been here?” the new guy shouted over the din of the highway. But something about him was off. His head stayed cocked to one side, resting against his shoulder. A patchwork of scabs plastered his face. He reeked of piss. “You got a sign?” the guy added hopefully, holding his own ratty homemade placard like a bargaining chip.
“I don’t know you!” Mauer shouted as the man stepped closer. “Get away from me!” He balled his hands into fists and stepped forward.
The intruder blinked. He ranted incoherently and spun in small semicircles, like a puppy that’s just discovered its tail. He stumbled back across the street and into the shadows beneath Bartle Hall.
This is the first rule of panhandling: Territory must be re-established daily. And once occupied, it is kept only by brute force.
Other rules: The best hours to “work” are when the rest of the world isn’t, rush hours and weekends. Primo work conditions are when the weather is bad, because standing in a winter storm is sure to evoke sympathy. Success is contingent on a gimmick, the street equivalent of a straight-up sales pitch.
Everyone can be categorized by a type of solicitation. Con men fake injuries or use standard come-ons. Recall the line favored by infamous Plaza panhandler Jerry Mazer, who asks passers-by for a “down payment on a cheeseburger.” Beggars put out a hand and proposition their marks directly. Cup rattlers push their message subtly, by jingling for change. Guys who “fly a sign” use cardboard to sell their plight, billboard style. They compete with more legitimate sidewalk entertainers and charity organizations, all vying for your change.
‘Tis the season to be giving. With this in mind, the Pitch has created a panhandling primer with the real stories behind some of those with their hands out.
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April 25th, 2008 at 8:08 am
Looks like this particular bum would have robbed the guy even if he had not just given him spare change! The bum saw someone “down,” and jumped on the chance to steal. I think that would have happened even without the man’s giving the same bum change a few minutes earlier. It’s simply ironic (to some) that a charitable action was repaid with theft a few moments afterwards.
Most of the homeless in this country are mentally ill and/or addicts to some substance. And like most people in those situations, they cannot or will not conform to societal norms, unless they get well. Since many do not want to get better (that’s part of their illness), giving them money only helps keep them sick. Those who want to help them out - for whatever reason - can give them food (if they want it) or try to get them to places where they can get help (if they’ll take it). I have given a $20 to a McDonalds telling them to feed a man and woman who were begging in DC. They ate every bit of that money up and I felt it was money well spent at the time. I hope they took the next step and looked for work (as they said they would). On the other hand, there have been times when I offered to help get someone to a VA hospital (”Help a Vet” was how the sign read - so I tried), only to be told they wanted cash money and nothing else. I refused that deal.
Yea, I am stupid sometimes. So are a lot of other people whose hearts are soft. Lawrence KS has a reputation among the transient as a soft place to land. It’s a shame that those who want to help others do not realize that sometimes the best help you can give some people is to let them suffer the full consequences of bad choices. Then, and only then, can some people begin to see they need to make a change in themselves and their conduct.
April 28th, 2008 at 4:33 pm
Eh, I never gave money to the panhandlers on Mass, except the guy with the saxophone, because he’s awesome and starts playing kids’ songs when he sees Penny. I’m a lot more likely to give money to someone doing something, even if it sucks. But in Lawrence, you get able-bodied kids who just don’t want to work because they’re “against the system”, and they can bugger off and starve, for all I care.
I have to admit, though, I’m a sucker for a Veteran claim. I don’t care if they’re using my fifty cents for booze or a fix; if I had that brand of Hell in my head, I’d want to get as obliterated as possible, too. I know most of them are lying, but still. It’s my personal trigger.