politicalpartypoop.com

 Found on a cute liberal blog, beware Snoop rants below

You Might Be A Republican If….
No offense, but I found some of these amusing…

You’ve ever uttered the phrase, “Why don’t we just bomb the sons of bitches.”

Hello, I utter that at least once a day, and the problem is what exactly!?

You think “proletariat” is a type of cheese.

Now that’s just the stench of liberal elitism, and more God Bashing! 

You ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch “lives in a trash can because he is lazy and doesn’t want to contribute to society.”

When I was a little kid before I even knew about being Republican or Democrat I wondered why would some idiot would choose the live in a trash can and even more why would people find that amusing? 

You’ve named your kids “Deduction one” and “Deduction two”

So I take it that liberals don’t claim their kids as deductions. Now I know better than that.

You’ve tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were just allowed to keep more of their minimum wage.

I can’t comment on this one, it’s just silly

You’ve ever tried to prove Jesus was a capitalist and opposed to welfare.

Now I have know moronic Jesus freaks that have tried to explain this, but how does this make you Republican? It just makes you stupid! Kinda like the idiot Republican commercial during the campaign that Martin Luther King was indeed a Republican. Who gives a shit, besides HE IS DEAD!

You’re a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.

I think sucking living babies out of the belly and tossing the mangled remains into the fire is barbaric.
I also think that if some socially unacceptable individual takes a knife and carves up a couple of innocent people, he deserves to die!, Oh shit, liberals found him innocent, my bad. 

The only union you support is the Baseball Players, because heck, they’re richer than you.

I don’t get that one, I’ll pass

You don’t think “The Simpsons” is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense.

Now this is proof that whoever wrote this is just a fucking idiot. I love the Simpson’s, Flanders is likely my least favorite character. 

You argue that you need 300 handguns, in case a bear ever attacks your home.

Ok this is just more silly shit again. No niggas are going to be living near any damm bears.

Vietnam makes a lot of sense to you.

How much do you want to bet that the liberal who wrote this was not even born during Vietnam and likely knows very little if anything about it.

You point to Hootie and the Blowfish as evidence of the end of racism in America.

This was of course written by a white liberal.  Is the black dude Hootie or Blowfish

You’ve ever said civil liberties, schmivil schmiberties.

Yawn…

You’ve ever said “Clean air? Looks clean to me.”

This person voted for Al Gore

You own a vehicle with an “Ollie North: American Hero” sticker.

Sidebar: ANYBODY with a bumper sticker on their car is an idiot, unless it’s a junk second or third car putting a bumper sticker on a nice looking or newer vehicle is a sign of a person craving attention.
We don’t give a fuck about your idiot honor student kid, even dumber the “My Kid Just Beat Up Your Honor Student” crap or that you think “God is on his way”, or that you are pro or anti abortion, that you are a “soccer mom”, or you voter for whoever it’s just retarded, period.
Nobody can begin to explain to me that putting bumper stickers make any damm sense. Shit why not just put stickers on your fucken house, sound equally silly to me.  

You’re afraid of the liberal media.”

Afraid? Is this person drunk or just stupid?

You ever based an argument on the phrase, “Well, tradition dictates….”

Yawn…

You’ve ever urged someone to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, when they don’t even have shoes.

More evident that this was a college aged liberal who wrote this. Take your ass to Goodwill, there are all sorts of good shoes there.

You confuse Lenin with Lennon.

Lenin is a liberal hero.

You’ve ever called education a luxury.

Another one I don’t get.

This entry was posted on Thursday, November 30th, 2006 at 4:00 pm and is filed under Liberal Fun, Liberal Editorial, Liberal Education.
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